Chapter 1
xxxxxFar from you,
xxxxxHer beloved Lindoro,
xxxxxNina languishes for love.
xxxxxBut now that she comes
xxxxxTo clasp you to her breast,
xxxxxShe dies for love.
“Are you awake?”
xxxxxYes, with you alone does Nina feel no pain,
xxxxxAnd is quite happy.
xxxxxBut cruel sorrow
xxxxxSwift besets her
xxxxxIf she does not have you, her beloved.
“Can you hear me?”
xxxxxNina is here,
xxxxxHe is not:
xxxxxThey have stolen him away,
xxxxxAh wretched me!
xxxxxMerciful Heaven . . . hear me . . . Oh God!
xxxxxLet me see him again . . . a day . . . an hour . . .
xxxxxTell him, I love you . . . for ever Lindoro . . .
xxxxxAnd triumph over all around.
xxxxxThen let my destiny be fulfilled, let Nina die.
“Open your eyes.”
A man’s voice in the darkness. A throbbing pain. The sensation of falling through an endless void.
“Open your eyes.”
Eyelids slowly raising, to reveal a dim light, a blurred figure hovering above.
“What were you singing?”
“Singing?”
An effort to sit up, accompanied by another stab of pain.
“Oh! It hurts.”
“Do not try to move.”
Giving in at last, lying still. Stretched out on some hard, uneven surface, pressing into the small of the back. Eyes darting from side to side, trying to make out anything of the dark surroundings.
The sound of water, dripping in a bowl. Then the cool touch of a wet cloth, soothing the pain.
“Do not worry. You are safe now.”
“Safe?”
“They almost had you. But we got you away, brought you here.”
“Here? Where am I?”
“Where they cannot harm you.”
“Who wants to harm me?”
“You do not know?”
“No. Should I?”
A long pause, gathering weight. Then his voice again, more quietly.
“Do you remember what happened to you?”
“No.”
“Do you remember what you did?”
“No.”
“Do you know who you are?”
“I . . .”
Silence and a mounting desperation.
“I do not remember anything. Tell me, tell me, please.”
Another pause.
“Get some rest. Sleep.”
Drifting once more into darkness. Hours go by, or seconds, as time ceases altogether or stretches into eternity . . .
Skipping down a country hillside amidst the press of goats, herding the flock back home under the setting sun. Holding a bleating kid in her arms, singing along with the church bells . . .
Kneeling, head bowed in prayer at Vespers, the organ soaring out hymns. The strict sisters keeping a wary eye for anyone falling asleep. Joining her voice to the other childish trebles, raised together in adoration . . .
Standing on stage, before the flickering oil lamp footlights. Staring out at the horseshoe rings of private boxes—the men in their powdered wigs, the ladies in their fine gowns, fluttering their fans. Facing them all, knees shaking in fear, but raising her voice in song, as she had in the fields, or before the altar of our Lord:
xxxxxNina is here,
xxxxxHe is not:
xxxxxThey have stolen him away,
xxxxxAh wretched me!
“Are you awake?”
She groaned in answer. At last, she opened her eyes once more.
“Here. Sit up.”
With effort, he managed to prop her against the wall. Sharp stabs of pain shot through her body.
“Eat this.”
A wooden bowl. A spoon placed between her lips. Something soft and rancid; she coughed it back up.
“Agh! That’s awful!”
“You must eat.”
“I cannot eat that!”
“There is nothing else.”
A single candle lit the room; little could be seen of the surrounding darkness. But she could see the man clearly now: a sharp face, with a cropped head and close-trimmed beard. Not old, but hardened; his coarse leather vest indicated a lower station.
“Who are you?”
“It does not matter.”
“Have I seen you before?”
“No.”
She looked around her. No windows aided the flickering candlelight.
“I want to get up.”
“You are too weak. Lie still.”
“I want to stand. Help me up, or get out of my way.”
He helped her to her feet, bit by bit, as pain racked her body. Looking down, she saw that she wore a high-waisted red brocaded velvet gown, dirty and torn.
Once on her feet, she moved forward, each step an ordeal, until she came up against a rough stone wall. Moving to her left along the wall, she turned a corner, then found a different surface—smooth, cold; a heavy iron door. She turned and looked at the man in alarm, but he stared back at her without expression.
“You were singing again.”
“Singing?”
She concentrated, desperate to recall anything at all.
“Yes. That much I remember. I am . . . a singer.”
“What were you singing?”
“It was the opera Nina. You know it?”
“I have heard of it.”
“Everyone has. It is famous. My first performance.”
Images began to jostle for attention.
“I was a great success. The audience was moved. I was moved as well.”
The recollection drew her on, almost against her will.
“How could I not be? The story is so sad. A young woman, bereft and forlorn. She teaches her servant girls a song to pass the time, while she waits for her lover to return. But they all look on her in pity, because . . .”
“Because?”
“Because . . . they know . . . her lover will not return.”
“Why not?”
“Because . . . he is dead. She saw him die; she watched as he was killed. But her mind . . . her mind cannot accept it . . . and so . . . she has forgotten . . . ”
Suddenly anxious, she turned away.
“What is wrong?”
Unbidden images came to her mind, the memory sliding in like a knife.
Lying in bed in his villa, holding him in her arms . . .
Seeing him cry out, blood streaming from the iron ring around his temples . . .
Watching him stand proud before the firing squad, their rifles lowering . . .
Dizzy, she began to topple over. He moved to her, caught her in his arms. She fought to free herself.
“No . . . no!”
Touching the blood on his bullet-torn shirt . . .
“Oh God . . .”
Calling his name as her pursuers approached . . .
“Please, no . . .”
Leaping from the battlements into the void . . .
“Ah! Let me go!”
The loss thrust upon her, inescapable. She turned to him in fury.
“Oh God! I wanted to die! Why didn’t you let me?”
“Do you remember now? Tell me!”
“Yes, damn you, I remember! I remember everything!”
She struggled against his hold; his words were close and insistent.
“Tell me! Tell me who you are!”
Sobbing, she spat out the answer.
“I am Floria Tosca, you monster! And my Mario . . . he is dead!”




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